Notes to Self -- 2025

         I make a point of never talking about depressing stuff in "the world"  because it's simply overwhelming to cope with the reality of it, having so little control over things that are so threatening and beyond anyone's influence, let alone control.        But it seems to be happening at the very same time, that I'm starting to get intimations of my own ineveiable and standard age-related mortality. There are actuarial charts for this. I am starting to see people of my age dying and no one laments how someone so young could die, they say, well, that's what happens, a little early, maybe, but nothing outrageous. A person can possibly hold it off with good habits, and I hate to be a downer, but everyone I know who reaches a certain age starts to wind down, loses physical capability, and spirals towards a  death--which, if lucky, is gentle and painless and not too much of a burden on loved ones--but not in any way ultimatel...